Saturday, August 27, 2011
A giant jigsaw puzzle
It's two in the morning and I can't sleep. There's a giant jigsaw puzzle in my head that I can't put together. I'm not good at it. Or, am I just afraid to put it together. Am I? If I am, why? I never had a plan on who will I be when I grow up. I turned out OK. Not great, but ok. What I'm trying to say here is that things will be ok, whether or not you have a plan. Not all things that happened are well planned. Not everything have a reason. Maybe the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle are meant to be just a piece of a puzzle. They are not destined to form a bigger picture.
Most people will claim that they live their life the way they want it. They are lying. Even before we started making our own plans, our society had already created plan for us. Most of us made our own decisions, but our society were the one that gave us options. Even before we existed, we were already destined to craw, walk, study, get marry and die. Going out of the norms is difficult for us because we don't want to be judged by our family, friends, our society as a whole.
Maybe my puzzle aren't meant to be solved. I'm trained to think that I have to solve it but maybe I don't have to. If I only look at each pieces closely, I will learn that they are worthy by themselves. That they did make sense on their own.
It's almost 3 and I still can't sleep. But this time, I'm no longer putting together my jigsaw puzzle. Instead, I'm revisiting each pieces. I may never see the bigger picture, what I have is thousand small pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that complete me.
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