one sided accounts on events of my life

If I were a painter
I would paint my reverie
If that's the only way for you to be with me

We'd be there together
Just like we used to be
Undertneath the swirling skies for all to see

And I'm dreaming of a place
Where I could see your face
And I think my brush would tak eme there
But only...

If I were a painter
And could paint a memory
I'd climb inside the swirling skies to be with you
I'd climb inside the skies to be with you


No, I was not angry with anyone. I just miss my wife so much. I revisited the first blog entry of pangs about me. Until now I can't believe she is talking about me in that blog. I just hope I never disappointed her. I just hope, 10, 20 years from now she can still see the same qualities she saw when she wrote this. As for me, I'll try to be that person again, try to be my pangs dream boy again.

Reading that entry again, I remember how we started. It was 27th day of August of year 2004. It was the the first time I saw Geri wear a skirt, she was beautiful. My mind went blank as I looked at her sitting across me in the lobby. I never realized that she noticed that I was staring at her. Until now I can't describe the feeling. It was like seeing the person you really love walk the aisle towards you. Of course at that time I never thought we will end up as Mr. & Mrs. Arenas. At that time I'm just mesmerized by her. Before I knew it, I was teasing her. To be honest, I was trying to flirt with her the whole day. And when I got the chance, I took it. I held her hand, praying that she wont get mad at me. She didn't. I felt so good, and at that instance I forgot everthing. I just wanted that moment to last forever. I even forgot the fact that our boss might saw us, as we sat outside the bar, holding each other hands. I believe he saw us, but he decided not to make a comment or anything. Eventually, he became one of our godfathers. Well, there are two things I should be grateful to him, it was his treat that night that is why we were there in the first place and for not saying anything. If he spoke a word, things may have turned up differently. And before that night ended, we talked on the phone, still teasing each other. It was when I held her hand that I knew it was her that want to be with forever. It was when we were talking on the phone I got a hint that, maybe we will be together forever.

And now, we still don't know what tomorrow might bring us. But I know, just like that night of August 27, 2004, No matter what happens one thing remains true. I still want to hold my pangs' hand.